I don't have anything to write about.  Well, not strictly true...I just don't have anything interesting to write about.  It's all the same old same old...vicious circle of feeling like crap, because of this ED, allowing myself to be controlled by my ED, wanting to stop feeling so miserable but ED not allowing me to move forward, trapping me in this gloom and so I carry on feeling like crap.

I just want a hug.  Pathetic as it sounds.  I just want someone to hold me and say, it'll be alright.  Because I don't think it will.  Everything is falling apart around me, because of me.  I want someone to say 'STOP' and make it all go away.

But my wants are too much and I am too needy.  I've got to find the strength to do this myself, but I keep getting knocked back and I clutch on to ana to cope.  Or does ana clutch on to me?