Funny isn't it, how you can make youself think things like...new month, new start.  Today for example, 1st March - St David's Day.  Or...new hair, new you.  Again, today, for example, I have now transformed into a blonde with a fringe in my quest for finding a different person in myself.  You have all these ideals you wish to fulfil in order to better yourself as a person, and you feel excitingly positive concerning the good you expect to ensue with your new frame of mind.  Everything is going to be humdingity alright.

And then boom!  Something happens.  Hits you like an arrow on target, smack bang central, pushing your Negative On button and shatters your picture of perfection into a plethora of painful shards, which cut you, deep.  You blame the way you now feel, (drained, exhausted, hurting like hell, disappointed, rejected, controlled, lost, confused, worthless, and quite frankly, pissed off) on the way you have been treated.  You can bottle it up or rant and rave all you like about this...but then how will it help? 

At the end of the day, you are in charge of your own emotions.  I heard someone say, a few weeks ago, that people do not make you feel a certain emotion, you make yourself feel that emotion.  Whilst I don't totally agree with this, (I mean, if a person hasn't done something to make you feel angry, or sad, then you would have no reason to be angry or sad, so people do make you feel certain emotions).  I see it as people can make you feel certain emotions, but then it is down to you how you deal with it.  For example, if someone makes you feel so worthless that it prevents you from getting on with your life, then that person is partly to blame, but then at the same time, so are you partly to blame for allowing them to make you feel so worthless that you are prevented from, and prevent yourself from getting on with your life.  Deal with it.

But then it's so much easier said than done isn't it?