Don't you just hate it when someone puts a spanner in the works?  Especially when that someone was a person you were close to - close to by blood and close to by friendship. But that is all now shattered, like a mirror disintegrated into a trillion tiny shards, impossible to piece together, lost.  Thinking about this loss makes me sad - sad for the loss of the good times, sad for the loss of a friend and sad for the loss of a brother.  Then again, what is the use of living in the past, in a dream world?  I need to just remember those good times, cherish them, hold on to those happy memories, and move on, grateful that I have experienced happiness in my life, unlike many people.

That doesn't mean I'm not angry for the time being.  It's all just a game, a pitiful petty little game that they think they can win.  And they will try anything to win, even the most manipulative, coniving tricks, like sending their own son to dish the dirt on his sister, their own daughter.  The harder they try to win their game, the more and more they push me away.  Why are they so blind to this?  They don't seem to realise they're playing on their own.  Their actions have served as a catalyst creating an erruption, an explosion which, little do they realise, is harming them just as much as it is harming everyone they are trying to harm.

I realise this post is rather cryptical...I guess it's just me trying to sort things out in my head, thinking aloud...